Reflection Blog on Three of Ben Franklin’s
list 13 Virtues
2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or
yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.
I
have made progress in this area. I used
to be too outspoken. I was overly
friendly to the point of continuous “trifling” conversations, not to mention
trusting unscrupulous characters. My
mother was a big gossiper and could tell you about everyone’s life within the
family – good or bad. That led to me
developing bad habits where I engaged in such behavior. I probably hurt a lot of people. I probably slandered a lot of people. I was judgmental. About 20 years ago, I decided that I needed
to change. I stopped gossiping about
people. I related what I learned from my
dad that “stupid people talk about other people, while smart people talk about
ideas and concepts”. I started holding
my tongue more and not speaking whenever I had a thought flow through my
head. I started becoming more of a team
player in organizations and in group settings.
I began using self-deprecating humor and elevating other people’s
ideas. I became a collector of
information, not a disseminator. What I
mean by that, is that I would not pass on “bad” information about people unless
I had first-hand knowledge of the bad behavior and it was a necessary instance
where I should ethically dispense of that information to someone else. For instance, as an aviation safety officer
(ASO) in the military, one hears all kinds of stories and innuendos about other
people doing “unsafe” or “stupid” things in the unit. I was not careful in my stewardship of this
inflow of information and it caused me a number of issues with the command and
my peers. Lesson learned the hard
way! As my communication skills
improved, my emotional intelligence (EI) also improved. Is there room for improvement? Certainly.
Today, I would align with Ben’s virtue of silence.
5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do
good to others or yourself: i.e., Waste nothing.
I
chose this virtue because as in the example above, I did not always follow that
guidance. I used to be tremendously in
debt. I owed for everything and despite
a good income, couldn’t figure out why I was always “broke”. Instant gratification along with pressing
necessities in life contributed to my financial woes. I have been financially destroyed at 4
different points in my life. I never
declared bankruptcy, accepted welfare, or received unemployment. I did borrow some money from my parents, but
I paid that debt back. Learning a new
way seemed to be essential.
After
my fourth financial disaster, I received some advice from a friend at
work. He was older, wise, and
financially stable. He suggested two
books to get me started on my road to recovery.
I read Robert Allen’s “Multiple Streams of Income” and Robert Kiyosaki’s
“Rich Dad Poor Dad”. I consumed those
books and vowed to change my habits. I
also met my wife about this time and she is fantastically frugal and a great
bargain shopper. I cleared out my debt
except for my mortgage. I changed my
buying habits. I saved to pay cash for
cars rather than loans. I saved money to
purchase items rather than put it on a credit card. If I ever had to put something on my credit
card, the balance was paid for immediately before the end of the billing
cycle. I am not rich today, but I own 13
homes (with only 1 home carrying an outstanding mortgage balance), I have money
in the bank, money invested in the stock market and 401ks, and zero credit card
debt. It is never too late for anyone. Prior to reading those books (and I have
since read many more), my financial education from my parents consisted of: “Get
a good job. Put money in the bank. Pay your bills on time”. That was it.
In today’s world most of us need more than that. This virtue is another that I am living now.
6. Industry: Lose no time.
Be always employed in something useful.
Cut off all unnecessary actions.
I
have never been lazy. However, I have
wasted many years of my life in unsatisfying jobs, relationships, and
schools. Why do I describe it as wasted? A lot of my personal choices were not good
ones. Therefore, I became a bit of a
late bloomer. My plan to overcome my
late start in life was to be in Ben’s words “industrious”. I worked hard on my financial condition, my
living arrangements, my job, and my education.
I have learned how to paint, drywall, lay carpet, install plumbing, work
electrical issues, and better lawn maintenance practices. I am also a planner. I make lists and stick to accomplishing those
items on it by priority. My hard work
has paid off, but I am not going to stop being industrious. I have a goal of finishing my Master’s Degree
after starting and stopping it three different times. I want to retire within the next couple of
years with my remaining mortgage paid off.
I have further plans for my two primary residences. I continue to work on my rental
properties. People have asked me, “Won’t
you get bored when you retire”? My
answer is, “No”! I have plenty of things
to do. I have properties, boats,
trailers, vehicles, a motorhome, and multiple yards to maintain. If I get bored, I will go golfing, fishing,
or hunting. I also like to read. I play chess on a master’s level. I will not ever be bored because there is
always something to do. I have made my
life path more difficult because of the choices that I made in my early years. However, a lack of industry was never one of
my faults. I always played sports in
high school and practiced my skills diligently.
I also became a black belt in martial arts because I wanted to. I played piano when I was younger and now, I
think that I want to learn how to play the guitar. I have never been described as “lazy”. These are examples of how my life aligns with
this virtue.
Respectfully,
John
Hescott
Reference:
Ben Franklin’s List
of 13 virtues
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